A trivial (and purely non-sexualized!) look at footballers with beards. good beards. good beards as defined by me. i may at times appear overzealous, but trust me; a footballer with a good beard is to be held in the highest regard. idolized. immortalized in trashy merchandise.
That poster you had of steve bruce and gary pallister on your bedroom room circa 1996? a great defensive partnership sure, the backbone of Fergie’s early title-winning sides, but where’s the fucking facial hair?
Your love of Stuart Pearce, Ian Woan, Ray Parlour and Dennis Bergkamp? Drop it. they all lacked one vital aesthetic. the beard.
Oh, and something to bear in mind. Paul Breitner, at this moment in time, holds the honour of having the finest beard of any footballer. Socrates comes close. As does Olaf Mellberg.
A footballer with a bad beard? i shall say no more than Abel Xavier.
One more thing, this blog is certainly not the result of a very lazy sunday afternoon spent in bed, watching 21 players (I’ll tell you who the exempt individual is in due course!) with faces so devoid of beard, it made me want to cry.